The alarm sounds. I drag my half limp body out of my stationary cloud—dreading the trek to my bathroom. I wash my face, brush my teeth and try to manage my hair. Everyday is the same thing, like a song stuck on repeat; no matter how many times I attempt to change it, the annoying tune buries itself deeper with each passing moment. I wake up hoping today will be the day when the ice cracks but every night I go to sleep incased in frozen walls. The alarm sounds. I drag my half limp body out of my stationary cloud—dreading the trek to my bathroom.
What will I do?
Where will I go?
Who will I become?
Why do I have so many questions?
Why must I always seek answers?
Will there ever be a day where I won’t have to worry?
Will there ever be a day where I can say “I am truly happy?”
With that I only have one question left…
Will that day come before or after death?
It’s funny how you say you’re not looking for anything serious…
I figured you were like that. What do you think I am: Delirious?!
Yet you get upset when I’m close with another man…
I’m getting mixed signals, won’t you help me understand?
But of course, now you ignore me-
in fear of me being too clingy.
If only you knew how little I cared…
then maybe you wouldn’t be running away scared.
Forget it and forget you, I’m done wasting my time.
And on you I’m never going to waste another rhyme.
I can’t believe you…
you’re nothing like I thought you were.
You’re just like the rest—
though you preach a different story.
I’m appalled by your hypocrisy.
It’s funny how I thought you were different.
I guess I can’t always be right.
I’m disappointed, but I know…
I’ll be better off on my own.
It’s like a flower afraid to bloom,
It’s like a snapping dog.
It’s like a sunburn in June,
It’s like a dense fog.
It’s like a giant oak that’s not strong,
It’s like a thorn on a rose.
It’s like winter all year long,
It’s like a kink in a hose.
It’s like a concrete tower,
It’s like a shoe with no laces.
It’s like a cold shower,
It’s like a sentence with no spaces.
It’s like an angry letter,
It’s like a frozen stream.
It’s like a song that could sound better,
It’s like another interrupted dream.
Ask me who I am and I’ll tell you.
I am a fighter.
I don’t throw punches—unless I have to.
Life pushes me around, but I just hold on tighter.
There will always be ups and downs,
you can’t please everyone.
When my smiles turn to frowns,
I fight my way back into the sun.
I don’t care what others think of me;
spreading rumors with their friends over tea.
I don’t care if my best friend is a lighter,
I am what I am—and that’s a fighter.
I don’t know what to say….
It’s better off this way?
I’ll never forget you.
Even though I don’t want to, I know I’m going to miss you.
Our lives are just destined for separate directions.
It was never meant to be;
we both knew it from the start.
I despise goodbyes.
I’ll always remember our time together;
though now I look at it in a different light.
Who knows…. we might meet again someday;
If not…. yes, it’s better off this way.
That is what I feel.
I’m an empty closet,
waiting for someone to fill me.
I’m a pot of boiling water;
If I jump into what we could be…
Will I fall?
Will you be the death of me?
I just don’t know anymore.
I’m teetering on the edge of insanity.
Is it because you’re not here?
I couldn’t say for sure.
So what’ll it be?
Will you push me?
Unwelcome thoughts stumbling through my head,
fantasies of love that will never come true.
A self-torture that won’t cease until summers end,
a feeling that won’t be quenched until I have you.
Like the season itself these emotions will slowly fade away,
summer will turn to fall…. fall to winter. No matter how hard I try, I know you won’t stay.
The only memory I will have left of you,
is the lingering feeling of the summertime blues.
You are the one,
You are the one I have chosen.
As you have once led your sheep, now you will lead my people.
Have faith in me and you can do all things. Trust in me and nothing is impossible.
Serve me and I will give you what you need. Praise me and I will give you what you want.
Repent and I will forgive you. Do holy in my eyes and you will be blessed.
Love others as I have loved you. Forgive others as I have forgiven you. Do not judge man for that is only up to me.
As I have promised, you will become king.
Follow me and I will give you wisdom.
Follow me and I will give you wealth.
Teach your sons my way and they will become kings.
Believe in me and you will have eternal life.